As of now, I am waiting for everyone else to be up for the 3ish hour drive to the airport. Currently, it is 1:42 am. Shuffle just played like six sad songs in a row, and while I don't believe in signs, I may as well take advantage of this stunning coincidence.
Since I am in Romania and only visit once every few years, it may well have been the last time I ever get to see my Grandpa. He turns 88 in a couple of days.
What's really disheartening Is that I've always been too self-absorbed to notice what is really happening around me. Do you know when you're younger the world is so small and you think you know everything and only your feelings exist? When I was a lot younger, my grandpa wanted to teach me how to draw better. I thought it was dumb because I thought my art style was good enough. It never registered in my child-brain that this was how he would show he cared.
Even now, I didn't realize how much time I didn't actually have here. It was only 10 days and it's so hard yet so easy to see how it all slid by. People say "live in the moment!!!" I'm not the in-the-moment person and this advice consequently comes off as another inane platitude. Is it really less of an adventure if you use your imagination? Is analyzing what happened less valuable than experiencing the event? I wouldn't say so, although I'm so much of the overthinking type that I'm too far on on one end of the spectrum.
The last advice he gave me was to work hard. He said that the the older I'll get, the world will expect more of me. They'll want more and they'll want better. As such, I can't wait for things to happen to me and I need to take care of myself. It the sort of thing people have told me before, but I guess now I'll really have to listen.
gave me is to work hard.